Jim Helms.

Jim Helms, president of Transport Aircraft Technical Services Co an aircraft remarking firm, printed the following jest in the latest edition of his superior newsletter (reprinted in somewhat abridged form here with his permission):

As the airliner reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the passengers heard this announcement above the public address (PA) system:

"Ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight 293 nonstop from fresh York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is beneficial and, therefore, we should have a flat and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax and - OH MY GOD!"

Silence.

A scarcely any moments later the captain came back forward the PA and said, "Ladies and gentlemen I am in like manner sorry if I scared you earlier, however while I was talking the flight attendant brought me a portion of coffee and spilled passionate coffee in my lap. You should diocese the front of my pants!"

A passenger in coach outcryed "That's nothing! He should papal court the back of mine!"

This crack a joke may not be that far-fetched. We are aware of three cases onward British Airways jets where the passengers were unexpectedly treated to a prerecorded announcement across the PA about preparations they should make for ditching. Capt. Roger Whitefield, BA head of safety, acknowledged these incidents. The ditching message is single in kind of four pre-recorded announcements that can be activated by the agency of a control panel at the senior flight attendant's station. single in kind such announcement was attributed to a "software problem" forward the carrier's new B777, since fixed. Pranksters are suspected in single in kind of the other events. The carrier has placed plastic caps with lockwires through the whole extent of the activation switch.

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